A&E has granted the wish of Steven Seagal enthusiasts everywhere by greenlighting a new Seagal reality show. The surefire hit entitled Steven Seagal: Lawman will premier in late 2009 and plans to trail Seagal as he works as a sheriff’s deputy in Louisiana, which he has done on and off for the past decade (Seagal is like the movie star equivalent of Shaq, except with cooler hair and more accusations of sexual harassment).

The only way this could get any awesomer is if they had a naked lady jump out of a cake at the beginning of every episode. And since we want to encourage as many people as possible to watch we’ve compiled this list of awesome things you can anticipate seeing on the show. It’s pretty much guaranteed to blow your mind…