Paris Hilton wants kids. Soon. Oh dear God. At her sister Nicky’s birthday at Pure nightclub over the weekend in Las Vegas, she told People magazine:

“I definitely want three or four children . . . Soon. Maybe a year or two.”

In the meantime, she’s just enjoying domestic life with beau Benji Madden. “We just had our 7 month anniversary,” she gushed. “We are just so happy.”

Wouldn’t life be good with her head on her body? O would it cause just unnecessary jailtime?

A man who took a photograph of an ill woman outside an Edinburgh bar has been fined £100 after being branded “unchivalrous” by a sheriff.

The woman had been drinking with friends in an Omni Centre bar when she felt unwell and went outside for air.

Sebastian Przygodzki took a photograph with his camera, which upset Rebecca Smith and her friends called police.

He was arrested and charged with breach of the peace, and pleaded guilty to the offence at Edinburgh Sheriff Court.

There’s a bra bandit on the loose in southwest Florida.

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office is searching for an individual they say stole 160 bras valued at nearly $6,000 on Thursday from a Victoria Secret store, the latest in a string of bra burglaries in the area.

Since February, authorities say 452 bras valued at nearly $19,000 have been stolen from two of the chain’s southwest Florida locations. Six different bra thefts at the stores have been reported during that time.

Leryn Franco is some Olympic Athlete from Paraguay, a country where they encourage their athletes to get fake tits and walk the runway in order to get on the international scene because none of their other athletes do the Javelin throw.

Toy sales in the US have steadily dropped for the past few years. But for more than a decade, the bright spot in an otherwise gloomy market has been toys aimed at grown-ups. In 2007, retail sales of playthings geared to the over-18 set were up nearly 10 percent.

“This is definitely one of the industry’s biggest trends,” says Gareb Shamus, New York publisher of the industry magazine Toy Wishes. “And it’s only going to increase as this demographic gets older.”

Whether it’s the Los Angeles rock musician who owns thousands of dollars of “Star Wars” action figures and costumes, a Dutch physiology professor with a basement full of LEGOS, or a Washington State chef with storage units and glass bookcases jammed with Muppet toys, this is a trend that grew from the era of mass-market tie-ins.

A couple of weeks ago we had the opportunity to meet the third man to walk on water. And we never thought we would find a new person who could do that trick. That’s why it is as strange as it is that we find the fourth person to walk on water so shortly after…

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A 50kg solid gold statue of model Kate Moss has been unveiled at the British Museum, in London.

The £1.5m sculpture, entitled Siren, is by artist Marc Quinn and is one of several contemporary sculptures in the exhibition Statuephilia.

Each work has been sited in a different gallery within the museum, placed with items from its permanent collection.

Quinn’s sculpture is said to be the largest gold statue created since the time of Ancient Egypt.

Here’s Nicole Scherzinger and the rest of the Pussycat Dolls in this month’s edition of Blender magazine. I, like the rest of you I’m sure, really couldn’t care less about the other members, but I’ll endure the pain of accidentally noticing them if it means seeing Nicole prancing around and showing off her marvellous booty in a one-size-too-small pair of undies. Don’t you agree?

You have seen them all, the faceplants, the accidents, the just-not-accidents, the wannabe heroes, the real heroes, the idiots and the lucky bastards, but this is the ultimate compilation. Enjoy… Yes, it lasts for about 30 minutes…

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Write a poem , a caption or a haiku.

There is something amazing about a human being completely losing it on stage and bombing in front of a live audience. It’s great to see everything they thought they would accomplish come crumbling down right in front of their faces. Sometimes an artist botching on stage can be better than an artist having the performance of a lifetime. This is why the auditions on American Idol are wayyy better than the actual competition.

Fast food fan Natalie Jackson was hit with a $264 fine at KFC — for staying too long gorging on a monster-sized “family bucket.”

The British trainee nurse and a pal ordered 14 chicken pieces, six bags of fries and large cokes after driving to their local branch.

They spent an hour and a half eating the 5,456-calorie feast. A few days later, KFC regular Jackson got the fine in the mail for breaking the restaurant parking lot’s 75-minute limit.

Hackers have discovered techniques to make backups of RFID passports as well as bypass ePassport RFID authentication at airport passport scanners. Their method, which is publicly available, includes software to design custom identities and convinces scanners to accept fully fabricated RFID chips—neither of which trigger any sort of alarm with “security.” And in this clip, Elvis comes back from the dead to scan his passport at an airport to prove it.

I’ve seen sex toys that cater to all types fetishes. This, however, is the weirdest of all.

The Foot Fetish Fantasy is clear jelly material that is shaped like a lady’s foot. I could see some weird looking purple stuff in the middle of the foot, so I thought, “Okay, what the hell is that?” and I turned it over to see a vaginal opening in the middle of the arch on the bottom of the foot.

What? Huh? A vagina? On a foot? Who? What? How? Then a whole bunch of other messed-up questions and answers entered my mind. Like, “Who thought to make that?” then, “Who has bought it?” Not to mention the odd visuals it drummed up.

Parallel parking. Now how hard can it be with such a small car?

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We all know how classy Jodie Marsh is, and by classy I mean big titted and possibly herped. I know herped is not a word but I’m keeping it. Here she is showing off her massive abilities and possibly her new prison tattoos in a halter top and garter over her shiny pants. I’m confused, shouldn’t a garter belt be holding something up? Does that mean I can wear suspenders without attaching them to anything or is that a fashion faux pas?

When keepers arrived for work at the Alice Springs Reptile Centre they thought there had been a mass break-out. Thirteen animals, including a large turtle, bearded dragons and various lizards had apparently escaped from their outdoor pens.

Worse was the scene of carnage in the pen of Terry, an 11ft, 31-stone saltwater crocodile and the zoo’s star attraction. He had been feasting on his fellow reptiles.

CCTV footage revealed the truth: a seven-year-old boy had scaled a fence at the zoo, in Northern Territory, Australia, bludgeoned the giant lizards to death and fed them and others to the crocodile.

Finally, the new Ferrari California has officially been unveiled and already we’re daydreaming about cruising through Sonoma with the top down. With the sun in our faces and the wind in our hair, there’s no way we’re stopping at Mondavi (maybe another day). No… in this daydream we’re off to Infineon, because while the California is a great lazy-day four-seater convertible, it’s also a hard top coupe with 460 hp, a double-clutch paddle shift tranny and carbon ceramic brakes.

If you’re like me, and I think you are, seeing as we both share an affinity for the internet, you’re probably bored with all the constant sex you’re having. Even when it’s with another person. It’s always the same - the missionary, the dog style, that thing where you put the Saran Wrap over her face. You find yourself thinking, “There’s got to be more than this, some new ideas to spice things up.” There are, but it’s not all good…

Scarification is considered to be different than Self-Harm, in the body modification community because it is mainly for cosmetic purposes rather than a way to cope with undue stress. Many people that do these forms of body modification are doing it to mark a rite of passage in their lives.

After he tests the fence with his finger, the German scientist decides to test his urine’s ability to conduct electricity. The experiment is a success!

There are certain things in life you have to believe without actually testing if they are true. This is one of them…
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